Saturday, June 18, 2005

Smart?

So my girlfriend and I went to look at cars to buy yesterday. I find all cars absolutely boring...they all look basically the same, and I don't give a shit if one goes slightly faster than the other, because I drive cars in a city, not a race course. 140 kph is good enough, and every car can do that. I also hate that driving a car unnecessarily pollutes the environment. Parking sucks too.

However, there is one car which is just different enough from other cars to make me like it a bit more. It's called the smart car. It is small and less polluting and weird looking.



So we went to look at one. The car salesman came to greet us, and although he was friendly, there was something shifty about his eyes. After talking about options and pricing, he offered to take me on a test drive. "But first," he said, "I have to go take care of some business."

I got in the passenger seat, and he told me to put on my seatbelt. We drove for a while, and before I realized where we were going, we were in a pretty bad part of town. I was about to ask him what was going on, when there was a crash behind us.

I looked back, and saw that a large truck had just rear-ended us. And you'll never guess who was driving the truck. It was Bigfoot!

The car salesman told me to relax, then did a sudden U-turn. He explained to me that the smart car was small and maneuvarable, and very fun to drive. He also showed me the power windows, as he rolled his window down and pulled a gun from under the seat.

He began to accelerate and fire at Bigfoot's truck at the same time. He told me to take the wheel, so I did, and I noticed that it was indeed pretty fun to drive.

We passed Bigfoot, and he turned around to follow us. The salesman took the wheel back, and turned down a side street. He began accelerating toward what looked like a dead end, with a narrow alley at the end. I screamed, thinking we would hit a wall, but the car was so small that it managed to fit into the alley. "Imagine how easy it is to park" said the salesman, and I laughed.

There was an explosion behind us as Bigfoot tried to follow us into the alley with his large truck. We stopped, and I looked back to see an orange ball of flame where the truck had crashed into the walls of the alleyway. The salesman fired a few shots into the windshield, just to make sure.

As fiery bits of metal and fur rained down upon us, I realized that the smart car is really great, and I'd probably like to buy one.

So yeah, that was a pretty fun day I guess.

Note: Parts of my story might be fictional, because I got bored with just describing my day.