Sunday, November 20, 2005

Conversations With Dumb People

At the McDonalds drive-through (aka drive-thru) today:

V: "I'll have a number 2 combo."
McDonalds Employee: "Would you like cheese on that?"
V: "On the quarter pounder with cheese?"
McDonalds Employee: "Yeah."
V: "Yes, I'll have cheese on that."

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Telefrancais Ananana OMG!!!

Whoa! Anyone remember Telefrancais? It was that horrible 10 minute show that all Canadian kids were forced to watch in french classes. Well I just came across the theme song here and it brought back all sorts of weird and wonderful memories. It even has its own YTMND.

Then I came across a whole bunch of other Canadian show theme songs! There are old classics like Sesame Street and Today's Special, but also shows I totally forgot about until today, like The Green Forest and The Edison Twins.

Oh and also be sure to listen to Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings. Obvioulsy Mike Myers watched a lot of crappy Canadian TV too.

Now I'll have these stupid songs stuck in my head for weeks. :(

telefrancais


(more awesome comics like this can be found at Dinosaur Comics.)


Thursday, November 17, 2005

Random Ramblings

I just had the best bagel. It was jalapeno flavoured, with cheese on top. The jalapeno flavour came from real chunks of jalapeno...not "jalapeno product" poured into the dough, as per usual. I thank the lady at Encounters for recommending it to me. She is my hero.

Wanna know something sad? I have more spam in my e-mail at this particular moment than all the non-spam mail I've recieved in about six months. Since spam is automatically deleted every month...that means a month's worth of spam equals six months' worth of real email. I get six times more spam than email. And this is at my "real" email address which I only give to people I trust. What the hell happened to the internet?

In other news, my other blog has been updated with a post about my new religion, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

Finally, I hope you enjoy the new poo brown colour scheme. Heheheheheehehe poo ehhehehe. But really, it's meant to resemble coffee and chocolate (two of my favourite things) than poo. Hehehehehe poo.


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

One Week Until the Xbox 360

I freely admit to being a geek. Which is why I can freely admit to being excited that the new Xbox is coming out in exactly one week. I managed to pre-order one from Futureshop, after a late night of drinking and coming home to realize that they put 10 up for sale every night at three o' clock. So hopefully I will have one on my hands next Tuesday, and I will surely share my impressions on here for anyone who cares.

The only problem is that my dinky 27 inch TV will no long cut it. Tiny tiny 27 inch non-high-definition televisions are so 2004. So I've been looking into big screen TVs which I can't afford. Amazingly, even V seems to be into buying one.

Oh, and speaking of amazing technology, I just got a new paint program. So now I can do stuff like take the picture of the Xbox 360 there, and put zoo animals in the background.

xbox360zoo

God bless technology.


Site Update: Screwed Up Everything

I just spent an hour trying to widen this blog (so I can post bigger pictures...everyone likes big pictures!). But when I tried widening it, the corners were no longer round, so I spent another hour trying to make them round. As you can see, I failed. So I decided to make a nice background image at the top instead. It's chocolate. Mmm, chocolate. While making that, I figured out how to make the corners round again, but now it's 1:00 in the morning and I need to be up early tomorrow. The corners will have to wait.

Edit: I am now playing with the colours. I know the green and brown look ugly together, but this is a gradual process.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Remembrance Day Leftovers

I forgot to post this picture on Remembrance Day. It's just a pretty picture and I wanted to share it. I stole this from Tony Pierce. That's right, Pierce.











Thursday, November 10, 2005

Stillborn Spud

V and I were browsing Ebay for weird stuff today, and came across this potato that looks like a fetus, which they call the "Right to Life Sweet Potato". Strangely, this disgusting veggie doesn't exactly inspire me to rally against abortion. If anything, there should be less creepy fetus things in the world.

Still, I like creepy things, and having a little tuber tot on display would certainly make for interesting conversation. Unfortunately, it's a little bit out of my price range: over 23 000 dollars.

Some of you loyal readers may be rich though, so feel free to buy this incredible edible fetus for me for Christmas. I have a great recipe for potato pancakes that I've been dying to try out.


Fish Porn

I was looking through recent search terms entered to find phronk.com, and noticed that someone who searched for "erotic little mermaid fiction" found my site. Fair enough...I've written before about how Ariel is pretty hot for a cartoon (which is why my site came up). But then I inadvertently clicked on one of the other sites that come up when that search is performed. I can understand, to some degree, the fun in seeing Jessica Rabbit and Sailor Moon naked. But Finding Nemo?! Why!? And this site was actually like a real porn site - you get a few free pictures, then you gotta pay. Do people actually pay for poorly drawn pictures of fish fucking?

Because if they do, I'm in the wrong business. Screw helping people and making the world a better place...I'm better off taking advantage of peoples' weird-ass fetishes by scribbling penises on Disney characters.

Pixar's next movie is Cars. If I start now, I can probably have like 50 drawings of juicy headlights and wide-open tailpipes to release along with the movie. Has my quest to find the perfect get-rich-quick scheme finally come to an end?

No. It hasn't. Now go away, pervert.


Friday, November 04, 2005

Other Blog and Photo Gallery Updated

My other blog has been updated with some beautiful pictures. Also, the link to the Photo Gallery over on the sidebar there now actually goes to a gallery of photographs, rather than all the pics used on this web site. Yum yum, lots of pictures.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

You're The Man Now, Dog

I've noticed that in the last few days, a few hundred people have come to this site searching for "O RLY" in Google. So, welcome, I guess. I hope you found what you were looking for.

While I'm on the topic of stupid internet stuff that makes no sense but is funny anyway, I just have to comment on this site: YTMND.com. The basic idea is that you create a web page that consists of big zooming text in the forground, and a picture or video tiled in the background, with a sound file that plays over it. Then you post it on ytmnd.com for the world to see. This formula has led to hundreds of nonsensical but hilarious ... things.

Apparently the first one was this Sean Connery ytmnd, hence why the site is called YTMND.com.

However, the most popular one, and the one that led me to the site, was this: Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Why is this funny?! I don't even know, but it is.

This Batman ytmnd also made me laugh, as did Tom Cruise Kills Oprah.

Oh, and to relate this back to that God damn O RLY owl: Year of the Owl and rly.ytmnd.com.

Edit: This one is hilarious, but only if you play World of Warcraft.



Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Goldsberry the Deer Slayer

Check out this story about this dude, Wayne Goldsberry, who engaged in an epic battle with a deer, finally managing to snap its neck with his bare hands while standing in a pool of its blood.

Now, the deer had broken into his house, so it's not like he went hunting in the forest and forgot his gun. Still, though, I have to wonder if it was entirely necessary to enter the room where the deer was and pick a fight. He could've just shut the door and waited for the authorities to arrive.

However, think of it this way...people who do go hunting do it just for the fun of tracking and killing an animal. This guy killed to defend his home and family. Who is more justified in the murder? The deer wrestler is, in my opinion.

Plus, he does intend to have the deer processed for meat, so not only did he save his home, but he'll provide a hot meal for someone. Maybe he'll eat it himself...there would be something primally satisfying about consuming the large animal you just bested with your bare hands.


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Site Update: Ad Removal, Other Stuff

I've removed the crappy Rogers-Geocities ad from this site! You probably never noticed it, but it was the ugly thing hanging out there in the upper right, never really showing ads but just taking up space and getting in the way.

Now I have shiny new ads right above the latest post. These should display content which is actually related to stuff I've posted about, which is kind of neat. Plus I get paid for those ads, instead of Rogers getting paid. Especially if you click on them, even if you have no intent to buy anything. Am I allowed to say that? Probabably not, but it's not like they can expect me to read that long user agreement thing. Legal contract my ass.

I've also rearranged some stuff (e.g. the "Writing" section to the right there) to make it look nicer and work with the new ad-free site. But nobody will notice that except me.

Update: I just checked my ad account, and I have made just under $1.00 in ad revenue! At this rate, it will only be about 10 more years before I reach the $100 minimum before they send a cheque out. It's like 50 Cent says...I'm gonna Get Rich or Die Tryin'. Bitch. Or something.