Wednesday, April 26, 2006

What the Phuck is a Phronk?

A few people have recently asked where my nickname, Phronk, came from. My origin goes all the way back to Grade 9, when I was blasted with gamma radiation from space in gym class lining up to do the pole vault. A few other dudes and I were getting to know each other. One of them forgot my name, and said something like "you...what's your name again? Phronk or something?" Of course, this was quite funny for everyone else, so occasionally they would call me Phronk. The idea for calling me Phronk multiplied and spread like rabbits made of peanut butter, and eventually even my close friends were calling me Phronk (or Phronko). Where did "Phronk" come from? Later questioning revealed that the originator thought I looked French, because I had a little moustache, and Phronk is a French name (?).

There is a certain amount of controversy surrounding this story. It is unknown who originally came up with the name, and I seem to remember arguments between candidates as to who blurted it out first. The spelling is also uncertain. I remember myself and other kids taking turns writing out different ways to spell it on the back chalkboard in the middle of French class (appropriately enough). For example, I could have been "Fronk", "Phraunques", Fphrawnc", etc. I settled on the current spelling when I first got on the internet and had to choose a nickname for something.

There is also a character in the movie Father of the Bride with the same name. However, it is spelled Frank and has nothing to do with me.

Well, this has been a nice self-indulgent post about how I became The Incredible Phronk. You asked for it.

9 comments:

Carrie said...

yes yes, i heard ALL about you from.....someone....nice.

Jason said...

that's what i read when i was doing some "not stalking"...

Butchieboy said...

Phronk is way better than...say..."Cuntface" or "Herpesbreath"

Phronk said...

What nice person has been saying things about me, Mitzee? Dammit...I HATE nice people.

Butchie: One guy used to call me "Bumtits". It was a play on my last name, which sounds nothing like "bumtits".

I'm serious.

sarah said...

shut up butchboy, my real name is herpesbreath! what's wrong with that? *cry*

Phronk cause you look French! Little moustache! Phronk! I love it! this is a great story. haha! Phronk!

Harry J. Sachz said...

i have to agree with Sarah, great story... was going to ask, but figured it would have come up sooner or later... i just assumed it was: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=phronq

DogGirl said...

You were better as an enigma.

I dated (read: fucked for 3 weeks) a guy who told me his name was turned into Hairy-Ass Fart-smell in school (Darius Hartwell - rather nice name). I hope he's not reading this.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I think you got your name from Phronk, Martin Short, in the movie and just don't want to tell us.

Phronk said...

Sachz: "To hodge mightily with sysadmin manroot" makes about as much sense to me as that Wikipedia entry. To be associated with Ron Jeremy isn't all bad though. Maybe I should change it to Phronq.

Doggirl: YOU were better without a DOG FACE! HAH!

And it's true, AG...I actually have a Martin Short shrine in my basement. I sacrifice goats while watching his movies and touching myself. It's a grand old time.