- 6. The Wind: In the history of disaster movies, wind has not gotten its fair share of attention. Sure, there have been movies about tornados and storms, but never just unexplained wind so strong that it ruthlessly knocks over patio umbrellas and old people until people are seriously irritated. In the movie trailers, Mr. Movie Voice will say "it's not a hurricane, it's just really fucking windy out."
- 7. The Hills Have Teeth: A small mountain mining town is besieged by tragedy when miners begin to disappear. A team consisting of a frail scientist, a muscular miner, a female, and a visible minority are sent in to investigate. They discover that the deaths may be the work of the mountain itself. The minority dies. They dig deeper, both literally and figuratively, and find that the mountain is actually a living creature, awoken by greedy mining activity. In the exhilarating final act, the mountain rises from the ground, revealing that it was only the back of a much larger creature. It attacks the nearest big city, and many explosions and CGI effects ensue. Then it fights Mothra.
- 8. Baby Baby Baby: Radioactive cosmic rays from space cause babies to become both hyper-intelligent and hyper-violent. Using their brains to compensate for their tiny weak bodies, they take over the world, leaving a trail of adult bodies in their path. By the time this gets made, the technology will exist to make computer-generated babies look photorealistic. Seeing babies doing horrible things will fuck a lot of people up. Hell yeah.
- 9. Untitled Alien Movie: Aliens invade Earth. The catch is that they look nothing like humans, insects, lizards, or some combination of those. Someone (other than H.R. Giger) will have to think up an alien that doesn't look like every other alien that has ever visited fictional Earth.
- 10. Werebug: After getting bitten by ants at a picnic, a dentist discovers that during every full moon, he turns into an ant and bites people! He goes through many harrowing adventures, such as avoiding getting stepped on, running away from spiders, and communicating with other ants by squirting chemicals out of his ass. It's sorta like Honey I Shrunk the Kids, except it's all scary and depressing like that one part where the nice ant dies. That was sad. :( But anyway, in the end he learns how to control his affliction. Being able to turn into an ant and enter his patients' mouths for a closer look, he becomes the world's greatest dentist and wins the Nobel Prize for Dentistry.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
#1 to #5 for the first 5 and an explanation.