Tuesday, May 30, 2006

One Hundred Original Ideas for Horror Movies (#6 - 10)

windmill
See #1 to #5 for the first 5 and an explanation.


  • 6. The Wind: In the history of disaster movies, wind has not gotten its fair share of attention. Sure, there have been movies about tornados and storms, but never just unexplained wind so strong that it ruthlessly knocks over patio umbrellas and old people until people are seriously irritated. In the movie trailers, Mr. Movie Voice will say "it's not a hurricane, it's just really fucking windy out."

  • 7. The Hills Have Teeth: A small mountain mining town is besieged by tragedy when miners begin to disappear. A team consisting of a frail scientist, a muscular miner, a female, and a visible minority are sent in to investigate. They discover that the deaths may be the work of the mountain itself. The minority dies. They dig deeper, both literally and figuratively, and find that the mountain is actually a living creature, awoken by greedy mining activity. In the exhilarating final act, the mountain rises from the ground, revealing that it was only the back of a much larger creature. It attacks the nearest big city, and many explosions and CGI effects ensue. Then it fights Mothra.

  • 8. Baby Baby Baby: Radioactive cosmic rays from space cause babies to become both hyper-intelligent and hyper-violent. Using their brains to compensate for their tiny weak bodies, they take over the world, leaving a trail of adult bodies in their path. By the time this gets made, the technology will exist to make computer-generated babies look photorealistic. Seeing babies doing horrible things will fuck a lot of people up. Hell yeah.

  • 9. Untitled Alien Movie: Aliens invade Earth. The catch is that they look nothing like humans, insects, lizards, or some combination of those. Someone (other than H.R. Giger) will have to think up an alien that doesn't look like every other alien that has ever visited fictional Earth.

  • 10. Werebug: After getting bitten by ants at a picnic, a dentist discovers that during every full moon, he turns into an ant and bites people! He goes through many harrowing adventures, such as avoiding getting stepped on, running away from spiders, and communicating with other ants by squirting chemicals out of his ass. It's sorta like Honey I Shrunk the Kids, except it's all scary and depressing like that one part where the nice ant dies. That was sad. :( But anyway, in the end he learns how to control his affliction. Being able to turn into an ant and enter his patients' mouths for a closer look, he becomes the world's greatest dentist and wins the Nobel Prize for Dentistry.



11 comments:

Timmy said...

"Seeing babies doing horrible things will fuck a lot of people up. Hell yeah."



I would pay to see this!

The Holywriter said...

You've got the creative edge that can save Hollywood.

Harry J. Sachz said...

Alot of great ideas, but I believe you have a multi-million dollar blockbuster on your hands with "The Wind"... Wind sucks (or blows, I guess), and with your creativity, you can show the world how annoying it truly is...

Butchieboy said...

Dude, I think your X-Box wants to fuck you.

Phronk said...

Thanks dudes.

Yeah Sachz...the wind is such an asshole. It's outside my window right now, blowing shit around like it owns the place. Bitch.

Butchie: Yeah. I love it too...but I'm afraid to try anything since the damn machine will blog about it. Plus my schlong is the wrong shape to fit in the disc drive.

sarah said...

yeah, your xbox is totally creeping me out.

my favourite is the hills have teeth because of the ecological message. Also werebug made me giggle... in horror!

Captain Bee said...

Do you ever wonder why most horror movies have a title that starts with "The..."?

It bugs me.

Salem said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Salem said...

(once more, with grammar)

The baby one has the most potential. What a mess that would be when people are trying to defend themselves from babies. They'd have to whack them or shoot them, or die . That would look sick. It has good potential for a protest.

your judgemental aunt said...

PRIDE DAY - A group of STR8 northern Ontario guys journey to Mecca (AKA Maple Leaf Gardens) only to arrive at their promised land on the last Sunday in June. Horror ensues...
I suspect this would kind of fall under the zombi genere.

Phronk said...

Salem: Awesome. Protests always make money. It's all about the money.

YJA: Stop! It's too scary!

Sarah: You reminded me of the song "Fire Coming Out of the Monkey's Head" by Gorillaz. It's kinda similar. Maybe I subconsciously stole the idea.

Captain: Well, they'd be less scary if they didn't start with "the". "A Bird" doesn't have the same effect as "The Birds".