Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I bring this up because lately I've been pretty intent on working out regularly. Yesterday, I tried increasing the weight on my crappy 10-year-old dumbells, but found that I didn't have enough weights to do so. I would have been proud of myself for reaching this limit, but then I realized this meant that I need to go out and buy better weights. I want those cool ones you see in commericals, where you turn a knob and pull it out and it's at the weight you want. But I have no money! Solution? Starve myself.
Of course, I see the flaw in this reasoning. Healthy food is more expensive than artery-clogging food. You can buy a 5-pound burger from a fast food place for $3.00, but 1 pound of organic tofu meat product will cost you $10.00. Approximately. This leaves me, then, with Dr. Phronk's Ultimate Weight Loss Solution: One must eat cheap burgers until one can afford weights, then one must use those weights to lose the blobs of fat added by said burgers. Whenever one needs a new exercise machine (or surgery to remove the gross stretched skin that this Solution results in), one repeats the process.
It's perfect. I should write a book on this.