Thursday, June 29, 2006

Television Sucks

I watched the first half-hour of the new TV show "Blade: The Series" last night. While it did "suck" (hahahahaha), it had some surprisingly good action and special effects for a TV show. But what really impressed me was when it showed someone doing research on a computer, it actually resembled someone doing research on a computer.

Usually, in TV or movies, someone logs onto a computer which runs neither Windows nor OSX, types something like "find information" into the text box which appears in the middle of the screen, and then the exact information they were looking for pops up and fills the entire screen. Everyone knows how to use a computer nowadays, but as soon as they put one into a TV show, it becomes this bizarre fantasy computer that has no operating system, no mouse, and works perfectly every time.

In Blade, the person went to Google Images, typed in a term related to what they were looking for, clicked on one result, got a "Page Not Found" error, then finally clicked on one that was relevant. It looked exactly like what a real person would do on a real computer. Good for you, Blade creators. Now work on making the people in the show seem as real as the computers.

Here is a crappy drawing of Blade rapi fighting Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No, thankfully, I'm not the "artist" who drew it.

I also saw Canada's Next Top Model last night. More like Canada's Next Top MONSTER (muahahahahah I'm so witty today). Canada has the most beautiful women in the world, and these are the best they could come up with? I've seen prettier things come out of my ass


9 comments:

The Holywriter said...

Hahaha, the should hook up.

Shora said...

I watched an episode of South Park on Wednesday night where the kids turned into Japanese anime warriors... complete with metal ninja star getting inbedded in Butter's eye. Now THAT'S good tv!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Yeah, TV leaves a bad taste in the mouth anymore.

your judgemental aunt said...

I din't know there was a blade TV show? I really only like the first movie anyway the got worse and worse after that.

I love Cici...she's a total bitch with crooked eyes but hey it didn't stop Shannon Doherty.

sarah said...

yeah, ironically I don't get CityTV on my television, but I see these girls around the building constantly. they are pretty hot, no?

Dr. Zombie said...

I saw Blade also. It was all right. I liked that it was gory and they said 'Shit'. About time cable started acting like cable.

Only big problem was the actor who plays Blade. He's got the Wesley Snipes voice down, but looks nothing like him.

But I guess that was also the problem with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Mmmm... Christy Swanson...(before she got fat and did Skating with the Stars)

Phronk said...

Shora: THAT'S THE BEST EPISODE EVER! My friends and I watched that while drinking red wine in a dry county of Kentucky (opening it was tricky...no wine openers in the entire county), after days of driving and hiking. The exhaustion and wine made it even funnier...I don't think I've ever laughed that hard before or since.

YJA: Yeah Cici is fun to watch. Here screwed up eyes make it funnier.

Sarah: Ummm...maybe they look better in real life? Actually, I'm sure they'd look OK walking down the street, but not stunning. As people who make their living by looking pretty, I'd expect stunning.

Zombie: Yeah I was pretty impressed with the gore as well. "Shit" had less of an impact here in Canada, I imagine; it comes up in the Top Model show frequently, and even on the music station in the middle of the day. I dunno if that's good or bad...it's nice to have some words remain taboo, so that some well-placed cussin' can still have an impact.

And yeah, mmmm Christy Swanson. I had a huge crush on her back in the day.

Butchieboy said...

Yeah, TV leaves a bad taste in the mouth anymore.- notice how I am letting that go without a crass comment.

Anyways- CSI is the worst for fantasy computer shit. I get mad about it and my wife is always like "They might have that...You don't know."

Harry J. Sachz said...

I agree that television is on a downward spiral... Obviously at risk of sounding like a cranky old man here, but I remember a time when I would wake up early on saturday mornings just to watch great cartoons, and wanting to stay up later to watch 'just one more show' of whatever was on... Perhaps it's the fact that my tastes have changed over the past 26 years to entertainment that is more suited for a valuable experience, or maybe it's the fact that if I see one more commercial I'll go insane; but I'm one step away from cancelling the basic cable we have... Shows like Mythbusters, House, and Rescue Me are the only reason we don't... The new Blade series doesn't exactly justify the $50 a month... oh, and Kristi Swanson is the hotness

[my apologies for the late night ramblings]