Wednesday, July 05, 2006
1) Moms. OK, so baby carriages take up space. But being a mom does not permit you to take up the whole sidewalk and push everyone else off of it. You're just as capable of moving a few inches to the right as I am. This especially applies to moms who travel in packs. Go single file when someone is coming, just like a pack of non-moms would. Popping out a kid doesn't make you more important than everyone else. New moms already get "courtesy parking" at the mall...what more do they want? (Speaking of which, can really fat people use those spaces too? How is that different from being pregnant?)
2) Lawn Cutters. I was once walking down the sidewalk, and a giant ride-on lawn mower was cutting the grass beside the walk, going in the opposite direction. As I approached, he saw me, but needed to swerve onto the sidewalk to avoid a tree or something. Instead of waiting for me to pass, he pulled out directly in front of me. We both stopped. I'm not going the long way around you, buddy...you're the one driving a vehicle on the sidewalk (see below). You could've waited 2 seconds for me to pass, but now we're stuck in this weird standoff. So he eventually went around me and I continued on my merry way. I'm glad he didn't decide to drive over me, because those blades looked pointy.
3) Bikers. A bike is a vehicle. Vehicles go on the road, walkers go on the sidewalk. That said, I realize that it would be suicide to bike on some busy roads, so it's necessary to use the sidewalk. All I ask is that such bikers realize they are in a place they are not supposed to be, and yield the sidewalk to its proper occupants when necessary.
There was one time this particularly pissed me off. I was walking Willard with V, and some old dude was biking toward us on the sidewalk. As he approached, he started ringing the bell on his bike. We moved slightly, but we weren't going on the grass to avoid him. He continued down the middle of the sidewalk, rung again as he went by, and came within inches of running over our dog. I turn to V and say loudly "what the fuck was that?" It still pisses me off just thinking about it. It's like a car driving onto a soccer field and honking because people are playing soccer there. Then attempting to run them all over when they keep playing. Asshole.
When I'm on a bike, and need to use the sidewalk, I either switch to the road when people are walking in my path, or go around on the grass. People who are walking should not be affected at all by my passage, because they are in the right place and I am not.
Follow these simple guidelines, and you will avoid my wrath.
To compensate for the grumpiness of this post, here are some happy words: SUNSHINE, JOY-JOY, RAINBOWS, SATAN, HEARTS, PUPPIES, KITTENS.