The Fruit of the Tree of Music

I feel like the biblical Eve. Except I have a penis, and the Apple I'm tempted by is a large corporation rather than a fruit, and the devil's name is Steve Jobs.

Get it? I compared being tempted to buy an iPod with the story of Eve. See what I did there? It's very clever.

Anyway, stupid Apple released new iPods yesterday. I don't need a new mp3 player, but my old iRiver is getting a little outdated. For one thing, I've run out of room on it. I've got a shitload of CDs, and it would be nice if they all fit on one portable device rather than only 250 CDs at a time. The new 80GB iPod would hold them all nicely. Plus iPods do all that fancy but unnecessary stuff like showing album art, playing videos, and keeping track of what you listen to.

Plus, you know, I need something to entertain me at the gym, because I'm all trying to lose weight now. I'd work out so much more if I had a brand new iPod to keep me company. It's for my health, right? And the fact that I literally have 50 bucks in my bank account? Well, I've got a credit card, and I'll easily be able to pay it back in the future. Like, in 4 to 8 years, when I'm done school and have a real job. Four hundred dollars will be nothing to me then.

Oh dear blogfriends and real life friends reading this, should I do it? Should I buy an iPod, or is it obvious that I'm just needlessly addicted to technology and making excuses to spend money I don't have on things I don't need?

And if I do get one, what should I engrave on the back (it's free)? I was thinking something nice, simple, and inoffensive, like "Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo", but alas:



All the other good ideas have already been done too: