Saturday, October 28, 2006

Adventures in Caffeine


Have you heard of Coca Cola Blak? Coke advertises it as "Coke effervescence with coffee essence." I didn't know what the hell effervescence meant, so I looked it up. It's another word for fizzy. Thus, Blak is coffee dumped in fizzy Coke.

The other day, I went to buy a bottle of Diet Coke at Mac's, and the clerk told me that there was a deal on: Buy two Coke products, get a Blak for free. I can't pass up trying new stuff, especially for "free", so I went for it. The guy said that I'd hate him for pointing out the deal. "Because it's good and I'll spend too much money on it, or because it tastes horrible?" I asked. "The second one," he replied.

To my horror, though, it actually tasted pretty damn good to me. Since it's marketed as an "energy drink", the stuff costs $2.00 per (tiny half-sized) bottle. Fuck that shit. I immediately got to work on creating my own version of Blak, for a fraction of the price of the real stuff. After many weeks of effort, millions of research dollars, and much trial and error, here is the perfect recipe for pseudo-Blak that tastes just like The Real Thing©:

1. Take some Coke.
2. Take some coffee.
3. Mix them together.

You are so lucky I'm giving away this recipe for free. Here are some additional helpful hints: Don't add cream; aim for about 30-35% coffee in the mix; and drink it cold.

"ENJOY."

Edit: In a sizzling ball of syncronicity, just as I was writing this post, the following news story broke: DEEP FRIED COKE. I guess it really is possible to deep fry anything.

17 comments:

Rob said...

Dude!!!! You actually like that crap??? Nikki & I picked up a 4-pack at Price Chopper one day (for $7!!!!). I had one bottle and said to Nikki, "You can have the other three.". Coke Blak??? More like Coke Blechh.

R2K said...

One tablespoon of coke per cup, you fly all night.

Timmy said...

it doesnt even sound appealing to me, not one bit.

your judgemental aunt said...

let me see if I got this right.
1. Take some Coke.
2. Take some coffee.
3. Mix them together.

Phronk said...

You're all wrong. It's good stuff.

YJA: You forgot the "resist urge to dump cream in it" step. It would get chunky.

your judgemental aunt said...

I always have to "resist urge to dump cream"

Anonymous said...

Just how much f****** caffeine is enough ? We're are creating a manic jittery mess of a generation.

madamerouge said...

[shudders]

Anonymous said...

What if you don't like coffee?!? Can I substitute a nice darjeeling?

Butchieboy said...

I didn't like it. I was dissapointed.

Anonymous said...

Food logic: Shrimp goes good with chocolate. This is like that. Or not.

Salem said...

I'm scared i might like it.

Salem said...

No. I don't

Phronk said...

Dang. I'm sorry I lead you guys astray. I seriously kinda like it though.

Perhaps Dr. Zombie's suggestion to substitute tea would fare better. It'd be a sort of iced tea/coke combo. Hmmmm.

R2K said...

Dude how is it free? They made you buy two coke products when you were only going to get one in the first place, I can assume. That means you pay twice the expected already. And now you have 3x the bad health.

Phronk said...

That's why I put "free" in scare quotes. :)

But in my defense, Coke pretty much lasts forever, and I would have bought more Coke eventually. So in the long run, it was free. Plus I needed Coke to do my little experiment which screws Coke out of more money...so really, I made money out of the deal. Yup.

Steven said...

I'm surprised no one decided to mix Coke with 7-Up.

Coke-Up: The perfect high-impact beverage!