Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I Will Punch You in the Ovaries

Here are some items of interest:
  • Cadbury Cream Eggs are getting smaller. Not only that, but Cadbury lies about it. "They're not smaller, you're just bigger", they say on their web site. If they wanna make them smaller, that's fine, but lying about it moves them into "evil corporation" territory.


Here is proof, from that guy from The Office, on Conan O'Brien:



See also:


Pimp That Snack

  • I am resisting going to the mall and buying many pounds of cheap Easter candy. Usually I say to myself "listen Mike, it saves money in the long run, because you can buy a shitload of chocolate, then never have to pay full price for desert for the rest of the year. Do it. Do it now." But then, 3 days later, there is no chocolate left, because my future self says to itself "listen Mike, there is too much chocolate in the house; you need to eat it NOW so that you can start a healthy diet tomorrow morning. Do it. Do it now." So, see, whenever I talk to myself, it ends up in the buying or eating of chocolate. Fucking self.
  • We saw last Easter that chocolate does not do good things for my state of mind. Exhibit 1, and especially, Exhibit 2.
  • I'm eating a Cadbury Cream Egg as I type this.
  • Nappy headed hoes.
  • Curry chicken wings make your fingers yellow no matter how many times you wash them. Out out, damn'd spot.
  • This post is very clever because it makes subtle references to pop culture, current events, and Shakespeare.






  • For serious. I will punch you right in the babymaker.



12 comments:

Salem said...

and yet, every time the bacon comes out I'm surprised by it.

madamerouge said...

mmm... bacon...

I will do my best to resist the discounted Easter chocolate this year. I'm not holding out a lot of hope: on Sunday, I had a chocolate attack and dumped 1/3 of a bag of milk chocolate Chipits into a jar of peanut butter and ate all of the Chipits with a big spoon.

Phronk said...

UUuungh...you're both making me so hungry.

Salem said...

M. Rouge staged a Reese's "accident"

sarah said...

haha. awesome post. It made me laugh, BUT I don't get why you are punching me in the ovaries.

tornwordo said...

That was like a whole variety show in one post. I wasted what, 15 minutes here? I feel edified. The receive bacon comment is particularly funny. And how can anybody eat a Cadbury Creme Egg? Gross gross gross. Peeps are where it's at dude.

Jen said...

Good post! I am completely amazed by the giant creme egg people. I love those eggs... but more than one (even the new, small ones) would probably make my teeth fall out.

limpy99 said...

I'm good for one Cadbury Creme Egg a year. The sugar buzz usually carries through November anyway.

Phronk said...

You're all crazy. I could eat 20 creme eggs in one meal (or one giant one).

MitZZee said...

i prefer lindor (is that how u spell it?) anyway, cadbury shmadburty, i love that you will punch us/you/them right in the ovaries, right in the baby maker. lmao...

msquared said...

I thought the cadbury eggs were getting smaller also!

You have a great blog

The Ordinary Adventures of Tomas

Jason said...

Awesome post. I find I'm getting all snobby when it comes to my chocolate. I'm buying those 70% (or higher) cocoa bars.

So good.