Friday, June 22, 2007

Stephen King's Richard Bachman's "New" Book



I saw this book in Chapters the other day, and my eye was drawn to Stephen King's name. Of course, this is exactly what the publishers wanted my eye to do, because everyone knows who Stephen King is, but fewer know Richard Bachman. The funny thing is, the book's only author is Bachman, whose name you may be able to make out in tiny letters at the top. It's only the forward that is written by King

Since when does the writer of the forward get a bigger font than the writer of the novel?

Granted, it would be less forgivable if King and Bachman were not the same person, nullifying any confusion about who wrote the book. Still, weird.

I was also surprised to see King putting out another book so soon after his last one. But it turns out that this was written in the 70s as one of the original "Bachman books", then never released. King only rewrote Blaze recently, in addition to writing like 5 other novels from scratch. He can write books faster than I can read them.

I can't imagine the time, motivation, and willpower it would take to write 2 or 3 novels in a year. Actually, scratch that; if I was being paid millions of dollars to live in a fancy house in Maine, and all I had to do was spooge my fantasies into a keyboard all day every day, it would take zero willpower. I'd drop everything and do that in a heartbeat. No, scratch that; in a hamster's heartbeat.

A hamster's heart beats over 450 times per minute!



And it's spelled hamster, not hampster. Where does everyone get that P?

Oh, hey, maybe I should go study for my big set of exams coming up in 2 weeks instead of procrastinating by looking up animal heart rates. Unless anyone wants to offer me a novel deal for enough cash to take a few years off of school and write? I haven't really written anything before, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. Anyone?

6 comments:

sarah said...

Have you ever read Stephen's King "On Writing"? That guy is ridiuclous and works so hard and is super talented. Quite frankly, phronk, I don't think you've got what it takes to be an author. Take that.

Your blog is awesome today in terms of form and rhythm though. I'm all about analysing media lately for some reason.

Study for you comps!!

Canopenner said...

Sorry Im broke.

And stephen king is kinda overrated I think.

Or maybe I just got bitter in the middle of that gunslinger business.

Grant Miller said...

In America it's spelled hampster. Kind of like Colour and color.

Mike said...

Sarah: Yeah, I've read On Writing. It's both inspiring and depressing.

I've been reading poetry lately...maybe that's why my form and rhythm is so incredible.

Oh and I don't think you've got what it takes to be a HUMAN. Take THAT.

Canopenner: Yeah The Dark Tower ended up slightly disappointing. The rest of his recent work is good though, and he manages to make the words interesting even when the story is going nowhere. I'm reading Cell right now and it's kickass.

Grant: You're completely right...if you're talking about America's retarded population.

bulldog_1964 said...

Hey Phronk. Stephen King and Richard Bachman are the same person. He uses this alias for books he didn't think would ever get published... This particular was saved from the carbage by his wife years and years ago, the same for his first big hit Carrie, although he published that one as King.

I was such a fan of King when I was younger but totally stopped reading it until he came out with Cell... that book was written just like a script, loved it.

I think you can thank the publishers for trying to trick you that way. Bunch of losers. To tell you the truth, I'm reading the Shopoholic series lately, and cannot tell you how loud I am laughing in the cafe or subway as I'm reading.

Phronk said...

Hey. Yeah I know they're the same person. I think you're right about it being the publisher's decision, and King probably had nothing to do with it. Dumbasses.