Friday, August 03, 2007

Night of the Living Commercial People


Maybe I just watch too much TV, but have you ever noticed that there are only like five people who act in television commercials? There's a different combination of them in each commercial, but the same faces pop up over and over.

A few examples come to mind. There's the chick (pictured here) who has stolen a dude's Rolo Chocolate Cone, watched her husband waste a cat's talents to sell Temptations Cat Treats, adjusted her false teeth while her date wasn't looking, used her friend's good nature to steal a whole bag of Peak Freans, and committed numerous other atrocities in TV land. I'm sure she's very nice in real life though.

She was also zombie #9 in Land of the Dead, which is actually less anonymous than it sounds, because she had a jersey with the number nine on it. It goes to show you, though, that everything leads back to zombies in one way or another.

There's also the girl who feeds her dog, Maggie, gourmet food designed specifically for small dogs. I remember her because she's hot. Apparently other people agree, because she's also one of the girls standing around looking hot, ready to make babies with the dude who became the last man on Earth after eating a Kit Kat bar.

There are others I can't specifically identify. I know I've seen the guy who shakes his credit card bill and makes the balance go down to zero a few times. The "you won't like it" guy from the Oatmeal Crisp commercials (in which he lies to his kids and abuses his elderly father in order to protect his $4.00 box of cereal) has popped up a few times. Also: Is "you won't like it" really a good slogan if you want your product to sell?

I guess it's nice to see these vaguely familiar people coming up again and again in the hundreds of commercials we have to sit through. Eventually, you see them so much, they become like family. OK maybe not family; more like the person you see on the bus every day and nod hello to, but you will never talk to them or know their name.

You never know, though. Maybe they'll evolve out of being commercial people and end up like Thomas Cavanagh, going from beer commercials ("if I wanted water, I'd ask for water"...haha, take that, shitty beer!) to having his own show. I've never known anyone who actually watches "Ed", and I had to look up his name, but still, it's a step up.

P.S. I wrote this post because I read that Secret Anonymous Sarah is now one of those commercial people.

10 comments:

sarah said...

Haha. I didn't see the shout out coming!! Thanks for that, Phronky... but umm... that's not me... yet...

You know the guy who is in an elevator and loses his signal with the other smug guy there who talks through it, and then he's talking on a escalator and he's gotta run up the stairs to keep signal and then some other smug guy is on the other escalator gabbing away? ANd then he's at work and this cute girl is making eyes at him and then IM her picture in a lingerie and a cowboy hat and accidently sends it to the whole office?? I see that guy constantly at the bars and around town. It's weird.

And then there was this one time where I was walking down the street and I saw the guy who is not the scope super hero, but the giant tooth brush, as well as one of the daisies on the Kia commercials.. he's been in them for years, you know him. Anyway, he walked by and I recognized him and without thinking I say "hi..." and then I realized that I know him but he doesn't know me, so it's awkward and he keeps walking with his friend, but then they turn around and it looks like they are coming to talk to me, but then my boyfriend at the time comes back from paying for parking and they sort of change directions and walk past me and I maintain that the guys was going to hit on me, but that's just hearsay.

I've got plenty more of these stories, and I bet it would be lots of fun to talk to you about beause you watch too much tv. We'll do that sometime soon. You have an eerie good memory for good looking commercial actors.

Adorable said...

Hey, we love you and Sarah!

Just both remember us when you are big people and we're still random bloggers with big dreams!!!

Amanda said...

The guy that drives me crazy is the dude that appeared in the following commercials: Dentyne Ice, Pringles, some commercial where he's getting busted by his woman for checking out a hot waitress while he snacks on hotwings, and NOW he's CHAD from altell. The guy bugs ths SHIT outta me.

Anyway -- PEACE!

Phronk said...

Sarah: Not you? Look, you're already mingling with other commercial people. It's totally you. I know the guys you're talking about! That first one is also in the background at the table when the girl is licking her plate because the sauce is so good, right? And the 2nd guy, I vaguely remember him being in a commercial for corn chips. You shoulda picked him up...maybe he'd show you his "stiff stem".

AG: Aww how nice, but A) I'll never forget you and B) I'll never be anything more than a random blogger. :)

Amanda: Hehe, surprisingly, I don't know who that guy is. UNLESS it's the guy in the Dentyne Ice commercial who saves the girl from the sleazy guy by kissing her and pretending he's her boyfriend, who's now in the show Jericho. Oh and the chubby cop guy in Jericho is also in some ad where he says he's gonna stay outside until September. Oh man, I can't stop!

Erica AP said...

I feel so out of the loop... I don't remember any of these actors. I was an extra in Veronica Mars... Does that count???

Captain Bee said...

I was in the background on an episode of WWE Raw. Fuckin right!

madamerouge said...

And the guy in the Listerine commercials... also in the throat lozenge commercial where he can't yell "fore!" and nails someone with his golf ball. He's got mad chops.

Jason said...

I must be bad with faces or else really don't pay much attention to commercials.

Can I just say I LOATHE the caveman/Geico ads. And now I find out there will be a tv series based on them. PLEASE NO.

Phronk said...

Erica: YES! That's awesome, because it's actually a good show. If you were like "I was an extra in JAG", I wouldn't be impressed at all.

Bee: NICE.

I was interviewed on the radio in high school. That makes me cool too, right?

Mdm: Yes! I knew he was in something else too. That dude gets around.

Jason: It's because your genes don't allow you to appreciate the hot female ones, and the commercial guys are only there because they're funny looking and not hot at all. Those caveman ads are pretty stupid. I think the show will do about as good as you'd expect a show based on a 10 second bit to do.

Jennifer said...

When you're a real person with a real job (says me) you can buy one of those fancy PVRs and never watch another stupid commercial again.