Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Icicle Lights


You know, I really just can't get into icicle Christmas lights. They're ugly and stupid. The worst part is that they don't look at all like icicles. Icicles aren't spots of light in a jagged zig-zag pattern with bundles of wire between them. At least traditional Christmas lights can be arranged in a nice row. Icicle lights hang in messy random dreadlocks of plastic that look like a fairy puked on your roof.

You know what would be cool though? Icicle lights that actually looked like icicles. Shiny smooth semi-translucent glass spikes of varying lengths that glow softly. I'm totally gonna invent these. But I'll have to call them "real icicle lights" so people don't mistake them for the fairy-barf variety. Sorta like how in the 80s, the cartoon about the Ghostbusters had to be called "The Real Ghostbusters", because some shitty cartoon with a talking bat and a talking gorilla who lived between the World Trade Center's towers and busted ghosts already took the name "Ghostbusters". It's exactly the same.



Oh, and anyone remember this stuff? I used to go nuts for crap like this. I remember they sold generic "slime" in vending machines that I'd buy every time I went to the mall. Kids these days, with their video games and cell phones, just don't appreciate the awesomeness of old fashioned toys. Like a jar of slime.



Here is me:



7 comments:

Jennifer said...

There shall be no slime in my house. It's not that my kids wouldn't appreciate it in between wii sessions, it's that I don't want to scrape it out of the carpet and hair. Parents are just getting smarter.

Steven said...

Icicle lights only look really stupid in the middle of summer when lazy homeowners 'forget' to remove them.

SharkBoy said...

I'm with you, I never liked the cheap look of "icicle lights". I much prefer the traditional multi-coloured lights of my youth.

We're going to my sister's for xmas this year, she lives in Vermont, where everything is white lights and/or icicle lights, but because the family is coming this year, she made sure there would be plenty of multicoloured lights (in the backyard as to not upset the neighbours...)

Adorable said...

Is ecto-plazm similar to that vile ecto cooler AG's mother gave her as a child?

Dead Robot said...

Are you the one with the ubercool 70s 'stache?

Pavel Chekov said...

You got a nice rack.

St. Butchie said...

I have xmas lights that look like pbr cans & shogun shells on my trailer home.