Sunday, November 25, 2007

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Dear guy who reveals his innermost thoughts and feelings in his MSN username,

Why?

Why do you feel the need to lay out your personal problems for everyone on your MSN list? Why do you leave vaguely disguised private messages to girls who you have a crush on, or girls who you perceive to have wronged you, or girls who dumped you, or girls who you met online and hope to bone one day? Do you realize that everyone on your list can see those?

It doesn't help that these messages are in barely readable half-leetspeak and involve cheesy self-aggrandizing metaphors. Hey, good for "u" if you think that you are the light that shines gently through the dark shadows. Just keep it to yourself.

Oh, and who the hell are you? How did you get on my MSN list? Do you randomly add strangers to your list, and was I dumb enough to reciprocate, assuming I actually knew you? See, the thing is, I don't know your name, because instead of identifying yourself in the aptly named "user ID" field, you write these one-line dribbles of verbal diarrhea.

I hope you don't actually find my blog and see this letter, dear guy who reveals his innermost thoughts and feelings in his MSN username, because yeah, I'm being a dick. But someone needed to say it.

In conclusion, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Book Review: The Singularity is Near, by Ray Kurzweil

The singularity refers to a time, sometime in the future, when machines become more intelligent than biological humans, and technology begins to improve rapidly as a result. The Singularity is Near is Ray Kurzweil's attempt to justify his belief that the singularity is coming sooner than most people think, and what consequences it will have.

Oh, what consequences.

Kurzweil envisions a future where almost nothing is impossible. Human-machine hybrids live forever in a world with very few problems, playing and engaging in intellectual pursuits in any virtual reality environment they can imagine. This isn't your typical flying-car future. What use are flying cars when anybody can instantly obtain any information, or experience any location, just by thinking about it? It sounds like science fiction, but Kurzweil convincingly argues that it is not fiction at all.

The best part is that, if he's right, almost everyone reading this can experience this future in their lifetime. This book should be prescribed to suicide-prone people. With a Utopian future just a few years off, why end it now?

Some would probably argue that Kurzweil is too hopeful. He does seem a little, uh, off at times. The dude is on a radical diet involving dozens of drugs and food restrictions, just so his aging body can last long enough to see the singularity he so believes in. And how many times do we need to be reminded that in the future, you can become the opposite gender and have sex with whoever, or whatever, you want? That's cool if you're into it, but in a world with almost no limits, I think most people will come up with even more interesting stuff to do with their time. And although he argues each point well, if he's wrong about even one - for example, one fundamental limit on technology is reached, or one catastrophic world-altering event sets us back - all his predictions could fall apart.

Still, even a small chance that he's right should give us all an enthusiastic hope for the future. Reading this book (and its shorter predecessor, The Age of Spiritual Machines) made me happy to be alive in today's world; I don't think I could give a book any higher a recommendation than that.


P.S. I wrote more about this book at this post. Yes, it took me more than 6 months to read it. In fact, it probably took me over a year. It's damn thick. But although it does have boring bits, it's worth the time investment.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Bruce Lee Strikes Back

I've written before about how awesome Bruce Lee was (see Bruce Lee's One Inch Punch), and I've even tried searching for him by sketching his face. The dude in the video below also sought to sketch Bruce Lee, but instead of using a computer, he did it the old fashioned way; with a bowl of black ink and karate chops. Check it:



Monday, November 12, 2007

"Say Your Right Words", the Goblins Said

Here are some more words I do not like:
  • "Grout": What a gross word. Plus, grout itself is gross. It always starts out white, but a few days later it's black and brown with dirt, dead skin, slime, and who knows what else. This is why I like my floors carpeted.
  • "Woo Woo", or just "Woo" (in reference to bullshit paranormal stuff): What are you, 6 years old? Nothing puts an end to serious scientific and skeptical discussions like suddenly breaking into babbling baby-speak.
  • "Rafe": I apologize in advance if your name is Rafe, but dude, you have a really stupid name. I watched Pearl Harbor recently, and got distracted because I thought they were constantly talking about sexual assault. "No, self", I said to myself, "it's Rafe, with an F." If you look up the meaning of the name Rafe, you will see the following entry: "from a German word meaning a huge douchebag; Ben Affleck." True story.


To keep from being all negative, here are some words that I do like:
  • "Bacon": Because bacon is just inherently funny. So is pork.
  • "Antediluvian": This is a fun word to say. Antediluvian antediluvian antediluvian. Ahh, that felt good. Don't know what it means? Try THIS informative site.
  • "The Cat's Ass" (in reference to something that is awesome): This may have gone out of style 50 years ago, but I think it's time for a comeback. Kids, next time you're out on a date, please tell your lady friend, "baby, I really think you're the cat's ass." You are guaranteed to get laid.




Here are more words that I hate.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Exciting Update

No time to blog. Writing novel.

Check it:



Red squares mean I'm falling behind. Don't even have time to write novel.

But at least I'm ahead of failed novelists Geoff and Nick:



And at least London Ontario is ahead of Estonia:



Hahahahha...fucking Estonia. Suck it! SUCK LONDON'S WORDS ESTONIA!!!!

P.S. I don't even know where Estonia is. :(

Sunday, November 04, 2007

DST


Remember, kids, today is the only day when time travel is legal. We get to set our clocks back a whole hour at some point today. It's a good thing, too, because I've got a shitload of stuff to do; papers to mark, video games to play, a novel to write. I just have to decide if I'll use my hour for business or pleasure. Good or evil. The power to manipulate time is not something to be taken lightly.

And for gosh's sake, don't use your yearly quantum leap to just sleep an extra hour. Here is a fact: Alexander Graham Bell invented the space shuttle in less than an hour (*). And you want to spend your hour sleeping? Come on.

So what are you going to do with your extra hour?



* (Not actually a fact)