I do not want Rogers Home Phone. As you know, I am already paying you lots of money for a cell phone. Why the hell would I want to pay you more for something I already have? Thus, there is no need to send me letters and flyers almost every single day, literally, telling me how awesome Home Phone is. There is also no need to have your douchebags minions in suits hang out in the lobby of my building, harassing people, asking where they live, and telling me how awesome Home Phone is. It is not awesome; even if I wanted it, it's more expensive and more shitty than other phone alternatives.
Furthermore, if you stopped spending time and resources on futile attempt to sell me horse shit, maybe the rest of your services would suck less. Like how you intentionally slow down internet service for certain activities (something that is blatantly immoral and will probably be illegal soon) and limit how much we can download, then tell us about it 6 months later in a way that tries to make it seem like a good thing. That was nice. And by "nice," I mean it makes you a huge asshole. If I wasn't stuck with you due to your near-monopoly and underhanded 3-year contracts, I would end our relationship immediately.
In conclusion, Roger, you can take your Rogers Home Phone, stick it up your ass, and then you can answer that phone when it rings, and since it's such an awesome service, it'll be just like the caller is right there in your ass, but I'll make sure the caller isn't a person, but a swarm of angry killer bees, and then they will sting you on the inside of your ass.
Have a great day now,