When I got home last night, I was covered in blood and slime, my legs hurt from standing all night, and I couldn't hear out of my left ear. Best concert ever?
When you hear GWAR is coming to London, you wouldn't expect them to play at Cowboy's Ranch, the local country music bar. But last night it traded crappy country for sweet, sweet metal.
Some lesser-known bands opened. It started with Toxic Holocaust, whose lead singer talked exactly like Nathan Explosion from Dethklok. Here is their lyrical masterpiece, Feedback, Blood and Distortion.
Then came Kingdom of Sorrow, who were actually pretty awesome.
But it was all about GWAR. They put on more of a fucked up variety show than a straight metal concert. The band members are dressed in elaborate costumes with an elaborate back story. A plot unfolds throughout the concert, told through videos in the background, and brutally violent live skits. While the band plays, monsters battle it out on stage. John McCain gets decapitated. Hilary Clinton gets her boobs ripped off. Here is a baby getting ripped in half then impaled on the lead singer's shoulder spikes:
(uh, it's easier to see if you click to Youtube and watch it in high quality)
And throughout all this, gallons and gallons of fake blood squirt out over the crowd. We were pretty far back, avoiding most of the gunk, but when Barack Obama lost his head, his magic hope-and-change Jesus blood rained down upon us. There's something awesome about a room full of hundreds of people, all covered in fake blood.
You can probably understand why I didn't get my camera out too often.
I showered when I got home, but my whole head is still sorta pink. It remains to be seen if my clothes will pull through the same colour they used to be. But dude, it was so worth it.