Ok after that last post, my taste in women was questioned several times. Well you know what? That's what being single for a while does to you. Warps your perspective 'n shit.
To alleviate this condition, I have joined a few online dating sites. Now I know, I know, you're probably thinking, why would such an amazing person, who probably has his pick of all the women in London, stoop so low? Well, 1) Because online dating is cool now; 2) I'm only joining free ones, so there is nothing to lose; and 3) I know I'm awesome but STOP CALLING ME.
This venture has been mildly successful so far, but it is quite difficult. Know why? Look. Look what I have to work with here:
Damn, no interest in white men? But I've been looking all my life for a confused professional mama who doesn't want children and is into baskettball.
Well, she looked pretty good in the picture, but apparently she's a man.
She will shit on your motherfucking face.
All women care about is dating a doctor.
Laughing out loud at her own "whit."
More incredible wit.
But she already loves Brad. Also: something I've learned from online dating sites is that "prefer not to say" is a synonym for "obese," and "average" is a synonym for "fat but not quite obese yet." I prefer a few extra pounds to not enough pounds, but honesty trumps both.
Ok but maybe not this honest.
I think I know why. Because being branded with "save a horse ride a cowboy" is fucking retarded.
But let's end this on a positive note.
Ok this person is actually pretty awesome. That's how to write an online dating profile.
Unfortunately, the vast majority are more like the preceding ones. I guess I'll have to go back to meeting attractive people in real life and through my blog (HI LADIES).