Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Roger Roger

My internet connection stopped working a few days ago, then again last night. I realized how dependent I had become on being constantly connected with the world in real-time, and felt some anxiety about not being able to. I could have taken this as a precious gift, then gone to do some low-tech activity like reading a book or actually talking to people to remind myself that life need not always be a fast paced technological blur. Instead, I called Rogers to politely tell them to get it the fuck working so's I can get my internet fix.

The dude on the phone was nice and helpful, troubleshooting the problem without assuming I'm an idiot. He sent someone over the very next morning, and the guy who showed up was also nice, quickly replacing a few different things just in case they were at fault. I thought to myself, self, is it possible that you just dealt with Rogers and had nothing at all to complain about? Except maybe that the repair guy left his shoes on when he came in, which is kinda weird because who does that in Canada? But no biggie, it was mostly good.

Also, this ad is actually kinda funny (unlike their other ones):



But then I got a call a few minutes later.

Rogers Lady (with heavy accent): This call may be recorded for quality and training purposes. Blah blah blah. We value you as a Rogers customer.

Me: [Okay self, let her talk, maybe it's just a follow-up call]

Rogers: We are calling today about a very special offer for Rogers Home Phone.

Me (interrupting): Oh, thank you, but I have a cell phone so I have absolutely no use for Home Phone.

Rogers: Is your cell phone with Rogers? You can get a 15% discount if you get Home Phone.

Me: Yes but it would still cost money and I have absolutely no use for it. Plus I already get a 15% discount.

Rogers: That's wonderful! Now let me tell you about how installation for Rogers Home Phone is free, unlike stupid Bell. Shall I sign you up?

Me: I would never use it. Ever. So, no.

Rogers: I understand. You can try it free for the first month to see what it's like.

Me: I have seen phones before. I am aware of how they work.

Rogers: Oh, do your friends and family have phones? What if they need to reach you and your cell phone is out of batteries?

Me: ... Yes...my... friends and family have phones...listen, I'm just not interested.

Rogers: It costs less than a cup of coffee a day.

Me: I told you, I would never, ever use it. Never. I wouldn't want it if it cost $1.00 a month. It is not worth the space it would take up on my table.

Rogers: I understand, but-


Etc. etc. Repeat in about a week.

You're back in my bad books, Rogers. It must have been a glorious five minutes of having my respect, though.

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See also: More signs of my unhealthy obsession with mocking Rogers.

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P.S. If I worked at Rogers, I would say "Roger that" every time someone said anything to me.

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7 comments:

Snooze said...

I've had pretty good luck with Rogers service - xcept the guys were polite and nice, but no one figured out how to properly fix my Internet connection for 6 months. Sigh. I do have a Bell home phone though.

EVILFLU said...

I am one of the suckers who has a Rogers home phone..biggest piece of crap ever. Nice to have free long distance to other rogers phones BUT if you dare have more than a 5 minute conversation the friggin cable phone modem thingy resets.

Biggest waste of $42/month that I spend...wishing I had the courage to get rid of it and rely solely on iPhone.

Darius Whiteplume said...

Tagged you at Adventures in Nerdliness

Mr. Wisdumb said...

Me: I have seen phones before. I am aware of how they work.

Nice!

Anonymous said...

Did you take my Rogers advice yet? It's definitely worth a try to save money.

Nancy

Phronk said...

Not yet but I will. And since I'm actually willing to switch to Bell if they don't stop sucking, they better lower my bill.

Salem said...

I think you've been Rogered.