Wednesday, April 29, 2009

If I Had a Million Dollars, Part Two

I had a dream last night that I came home and found a wooden pole staked into the front lawn of my house, and tied to this pole was a notice that I had won $450 in the lottery.

When I woke up, I heard on the radio that Lotto 6/49 is up to 32 million dollars. Since my dream was precognitive in some sense, I'm buying a lottery ticket in hopes that the winning part will come true too. Here is what I will do when I win:

  • Buy a full gas mask and pink hazmat suit. Attach little piggy ears to it. Also: a little curly tail.  Go about my daily chores with it on. If anyone asks, I'm just doing my part to prevent swine flu.
  • Place barrels of explosive and possibly radioactive material in various places around my apartment, like in any decent action movie. That way, when there is an action-packed shoot-out in my apartment (as there inevitably will be), both stray bullets and strategically placed shots will create some pretty sweet explosions.
  • Wait until the lottery's jackpot is higher than the cost of buying every possible combination of numbers. For example, for 6/49, there are about 14 million combinations, so at $2 a ticket, when I win 32 million today, it'll cover the 28 million for a guaranteed win, then I can pocket the difference.
  • After squandering all my winnings because I failed to realize the one key flaw in the above reasoning, I will resume my plan to make several million dollars through scientificially questionable self-help books and/or selling t-shirts for my blog(s).

See also: Part One


Cedric said...

You do know what the key flaw is, right? It's that the more money there is, the more people are likely to buy tickets, so the more likely people are to split the main prize so you'll probably end up with less than what you started with... a lot less.

Phronk said...

I know. :)

If it gets high enough, it might get to a point where it's actually rational to buy a few tickets (even considering the high chance of splitting the prize). But it's never a guarantee.

tornwordo said...

The flaw is that it would take too long to buy the 14 million combos from one machine (or two, or three or a dozen). Plus the other flaw above.

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