This is the second in a series profiling the types of people you find at the gym.
Today's subject is the nerdy approaching-middle-aged man who dresses funny. The most striking thing about him is his appearance. He is balding on top, but has a sparse moustache sitting on his upper lip like a dying caterpillar. On his head he wears large, thick glasses that seem to have time-traveled from the 70s, and a towel-texture headband. On his body, his shirt is just a bit too big for his wiry frame, and it's tucked into his shorts, which themselves are just a bit too short. This shirt, it's usually soaked in sweat, and on it, it says something like "1994 Glencoe Tractor Pull Champion".
In short, he embodies hipster style, without any of the irony.
There is nothing particularly objectionable about funny-dressing nerd man's behaviour, and in fact he's probably a very nice guy. He arrives to work out a few times a week, politely asking if you're done with the machine, and wiping down his machine when he is. But in a way he's the opposite of the guy with watermelon biceps who never works out, because although he works up a sweat (oh what a sweat) every time he's there, he maintains the figure of a stick insect.
One day, you stop seeing him. You'd like to think he reached his weight loss goal or found a nice lady to occupy his time, but the darker synapses of your brain wonder if maybe he just gave up. On everything.
Note: I will be this guy in approximately 5 years.