Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Effort To Keep Things Out of My Mouth, and Also Jessica Alba

You know what's the worst? Time-exclusive food availability. For example, I got this candy cane hot chocolate from Second Cup last Christmas. It is absolutely delicious, either on its own, or in coffee, or in homemade Oreos, and it's only available around Christmas time. I've been rationing it carefully, hoping it could last until next December, when I could stock up on on 10 or 20 cans of it. But despite my best efforts to keep it out of my mouth (that'swhatshesaid), now it's almost gone, and what the fuck am I supposed to drink until winter? It's going to be a cold, dark, disgusting remainder of the year.

The other excrutiating example of time-exclusive food is, of course, McDonalds.



Big Macs and greasy french fries are okay, but only because they kinda sorta remind me of McDonalds' breakfast. Hash browns, breakfast burritos, Egg McMuffins, or the mighty all-in-one food product, the McGriddle, it doesn't get much better than that. Yet the best McDonalds has to offer is only available until 11:00 at the latest. Yes yes, I'm only falling for the psychological principle of scarcity that sold Cabbage Patch Kids and the Wii; people want what's rare or hard to obtain. There's also probably a bit of cognitive dissonance going on; I went through the effort of waking up before noon for this? Well it must taste delicious then.

Even so, sometimes I'd love me some McGriddles in the afternoon.


Here is a picture. I do not know why Jessica Alba is surrounded by giant unrealistically perfect heavenly floating McGriddles, but it's the first image that comes up when you search for them in Google, and it combines four of my favourite things in the world. *fap fap fap*



13 comments:

Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

MMMMM McGriddle...this product was the dividing line between childhood and adult to me because I could finally combine egg and bacon and cheese with the syrupy goodness of the griddle cakes. As a kid I could never stand syrup touching my eggs or sausage. Its was lunacy to have pancakes on the same plate as any other breakfast food. But now I am an adult and gladly mush everything together. In no time they will just blender my meals and feed me them through a tube...ah good times, good times.

Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Oh and I read your post again. McGriddles in the afternoon? That is just crazy talk man...beautiful, magnificent crazy talk.

tornwordo said...

Imagine my glee when I was sent to Hong Kong for my job and discovered that they serve breakfast menu items ALL DAY! I was in heaven and ate several thousand egg mcmuffins with sausage at least.

shine said...

I'm so confused. Is Jessica Alba available at McDonald's before 11:00 am also? Because, um, which one?

Are you also trying to keep her out of your mouth?

Tatiana said...

Egg McMuffins are my no. 1 hangover food, and it's very sad that on days when I have a hangover I am rarely awake before noon? one? four? I think they really need to reconsider their cut-off time.

Harry said...

I don't know what internet you're using, but when I search "McGriddles", all I get is this image. SFW, but not safe after lunch (SAL I guess).

E Flo said...

haha, every time I think of McGiddles, it reminds me of the one Howard Stern episode i ever watched. This chick came on the show and said her fantasy was to have McGriddles thrown at her, so that is what they did.

Phronk said...

CCCCC: Hehe, yeah I've always been about mashing everything together. Gotta try every possible combination of flavours on the plate. One day I'll discover the perfect flavour combo.

Torn: Holy fuck! I'm moving to Hong Kong.

Shine: I always order Jessical Alba at McDonalds but they just look at me funny. Does licking my computer screen count as "in my mouth"?

Tatiana: Mmm they're great hangover food! And yeah, given that fact, the breakfast cutoff is even worse. It's like creating the perfect summer beverage then only serving it in winter.

Harry: Oh god! My eyes! WHHHYYYY?

E Flo: That's awesome! I would pay to see that and/or participate.

Forest City Fashionista said...

I LOVED the candy cane hot chocolate at Starbucks too, and as I drink hot chocolate all year round, am a bit perturbed that I can't get my candy cane fix in July...

SharkBoy said...

Same goes with the candy cane President's Choice ice cream... I gorge in December and sick of it for 11 months.

Harry's pic of McGriddles is stuff made of genius...

Hey Lady! said...

I have never had a McGriddles, but that picture really makes me want one. Guess I'd have to get up before 11am to get one, unless I move to Hong Kong, as Tornwordo pointed out, where they serve them all day... But who am I kidding, I'll never do either of those things, guess I'll just look at the picture...

Darius Whiteplume said...

Not to get all Monty Python, but "what about us Atheists?" Why are candy canes limited to the judeo-christian-pagan mashup of x-mas?

On a similar note, there is a diner near us call "Breakfast Anytime" - but they close at 2pm. Uh-Wha?

I missed out on McGriddles. My only meat is fish, and McD's puts beef in everything :-( I miss the Egg McMuffins too... Sad, really.

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