Luckily, quiz-site-turned-dating-site OKCupid has this new feature where you can answer a bunch of questions and it will plot a chart to the answers I need. Everyone reading this must now follow this flow chart to see if I would date you:
(click to embiggen. If still too small, try this)
If you got Sure or If You're Paying, then, hey, how you doing? Your hair looks very nice. Hey wanna hang out sometime? Go email a Twitter on my Facebook or something.
If you failed that one, you can try a more complicated version here. If you fail that too...well, sorry to break it to you, but you sorta suck. Was it because you're into sports? Apparently that's a deal breaker for me (but being married isn't?).
You can also make your own chart over here. It's very useful for printing out, laminating, and reviewing on a first date.