Friday, April 16, 2010

Indian Hot (Feeling a Draft, Volume 1)

For every few blog posts that I actually, uh, post, there is a post that I start writing, then get bored or distracted, so I abandon it. I post-date these posts a few months or a year ahead, so I see them at the top of my list of posts and don't forget about them, then save them as a draft post.


Of course, I forget about them, then come across them a year later. Often these are written as quick sketches of ideas, sometimes they are written while intoxicated, and always they make almost no sense. Instead of letting this brilliant writing go to waste, I have decided to share out-of-context drafts, in a new series I will call Feeling a Draft.

This one was written after ordering Indian food from Curry's. In addition to the usual Mild, Medium, and Hot options, I saw "Indian Hot" on the menu. I love spicy food, so of course I was all over that. This fragment of a post was my reaction.

Indian hot.

This should include something to ease the burn, like yogurt, or tongue cream, or a girl to pretend to be tough in front of.

Uuungh, it burns so bad. Oh God. It's like sucking on Satan's cock.

Seriously, when the Spartans said they'd dine in Hell, they didn't know about this, or they'd've been like fuck these gates let's go eat some yogurt.

And of course I chose yesterday afternoon to clean my toilet.

Here is another one:

Screaming "woo" when drunk.

Throwing beer bottles off of balconies. And cigarette butts. If only you didn't throw that beer bottle off the balcony, you could have used it as an ashtray.

Good point, past self. Good point.


Hey Lady! said...

Why do people scream "Woooo" when drunk?? That is a totally valid question. The throwing stuff off balconies, now that's just dangerous.

Next time you get take out from Curry's stop by the frozen yogurt shop on the way home, and how would you know about Satan's cock? Or is that how you achieved your sudden success with PWTIC?!?!?

TS said...

You, sir, are wise.

And I was also gonna ask how you know about Satan's cock....

Phronk said...

It is a valid question! I've never felt the need to scream "woo" when drunk.

I have, however, (and haven't we all), sacrificed a few goats, slurred through a few Satanic rituals, then "experimented" with the lord of the underworld. It wasn't gay or nothin', we were just both really hammered.

carissajaded said...

hahaha this is true so very true. How often do i dispose of my ash tray. OH ALL THE TIME! I heart you mike.