I had a great Christmas (THANKS FOR ASKING), which included getting a lot of great gifts. Case in point: I have been asking for a Chia Pet for Christmas for as long as I could write lists. Every year I was spoiled with the latest electronics and more socks than I could count (srsly anyone need socks?), but never a Chia Pet.
That finally changed this year, when I unwrapped not one, but two Chia products. The first was a Homer Simpson Chia Pet. It is supposed to look like this:
Look at that full globe of Chia hair! It's funny because he's usually bald!
Here is what it actually looks like:
Yeah, that's a funnel coming out of his sparsely-covered head. Chia Homer is not as easy to care for as they would have you believe. Water constantly collects in that drip tray, and you have to recycle it into the top of his head once a day or more.
Let's get a closer look.
Ahh god! He looks more like a coked-out Dracula, or this guy. You should watch your children around this Chia Pet.1
And obviously I couldn't resist giving him a ... moustache. Or whatever that is.
The second Chia product was a Chia herb garden. A label on the box insists "Chef's favorite!" And you know, it's been growing nicely for me, but if I walked into the back of a restaurant and saw the chef plucking herbs from a Chia Pet, I don't think I'd return. We are talking about herbs that grow on a sponge instead of real soil.
Another unexpected gift was my Ninja Turtles Snuggie.
Oh, sorry, "throw blanket with sleeves."
The fleece really is soft, and feeling it reminds me of last year's ShamWow incident. It keeps me so warm, and makes me feel just like Leonardo, except without the swords or douchiness. Anyone would be happy to own a TMNT Snuggie.
What's with the attitude, anime Snuggie box guy? Your girlfriend appreciates her throw blanket with sleeves; what do you have to be so pissed off about? Is it your screwed up fetus fingers? Get over it.
Oh, and yet more cartoon clothing goodness came from my sister, who imported these beauties all the way from Korea.
No, you can't see out of them when they are zipped up. I think the impracticality makes them all the more awesome.
So yeah, best Christmas ever.
1 Shut up Nancy and Dan.