Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Guest Post: Who Were You Born to Be?

Hello, fellow lovers of Phronk. Not that kind of lover. Actually, maybe, I don't know all of you. It's Blondie here from Welcome to the first guest post I have ever done on anyone's blog. Ever.

If you've been reading this blog longer than oh, a month, you'll know that Phronk just turned 30. To me, landmark birthdays are little more than numerical benchmarks in our lives. To some, they are defining points, by which we measure our life's success. Along with the man on the moon, JFK's assasination and September 11, we think we'll always remember what we were thinking on our 25th, 30th, 40th and 50th birthdays, among others. As generations come up behind us and turn these landmark ages, it spurs thoughts and memories of that time in our own lives and, in turn, bring us to how our lives are so much different now than we thought they would be.

When you were younger, where did you think you were going to be when you were 30? First of all, I thought 30 was what “old” people were like. I mean, my teachers (teachers = old in a kid's mind) were 30! In Up in the Air with George Clooney, he talks to a young coworker about where she thought she would be when she was 23, and how none of it happened. Have you ever found yourself in this situation? Have you set lofty long term goals for your life and then been disappointed when they just weren't happening?

I frequently am reevaluating my life and looking at myself objectively. I always wonder “is this who I was born to be?” and I always conclude with a resounding “yes.” I believe if I am constantly seeking a road that brings out my passion and plays to my strengths, that it will be leading me to new opportunities; I will always be who I was born to be, but that will always be changing.

In the [tremendously annoying, discouraging and frustrating] dating world, I find I am always asked “what are your goals for your life?” by new men. I hate this question. I am tremendously driven and determined, held back by very little, and have taken charge of my own life, but because I refuse to set lofty long term goals about my life, I never have an answer to this question.

While I'm only 26 and just as naive as I've always been, I'm smart enough to see that setting goals “for your life,” isn't really the answer for me. I'm not talking about “I'm going to get my PhD" (while you're starting school for it). I'm talking timeline “by the time I'm ...” What if I grow up and those goals just don't happen? I don't want to spend my time dwelling on how I don't have a husband and family, but instead I want to spend my time living to my full potential and being as happy, vibrant and satisfied as I can possibly be. I want to be who I was born to be, and I will.

What do you want to be?

- Blondie

[Phronk here. Thanks so much to Blondie for the wonderful post. Check out her and CJ at Blonde Monde; it's one of the best blogs out there. Today it features a sexy nose cast. Like a cast on a broken nose. Not a broadcast of someone's nose. Yeah.]


carissajaded said...

I love this post!! I'm right there with you. There's no point in living a woe is me kind of life style. It doesn't do anything for you.... I'm just keepin my chin up and livin one day at a time!!

Amelia Mae said...

I think I am on Plan K....

Blondie said...

Thanks, Carissa! I can't say I live each day like it's my last, but I'm kinda trying!

Littlest roro, I suggest you stop keeping track of the plans :) Before you know it, you'll be on "Plan AAIIV"

Johnson said...

"What do want to do with your life?" Ugh. Least favourite question ever.

Refreshing to hear a woman complain about being asked that because, frankly, I find it's the ladies that ask it the most.

For the record, the answer is now and forever: Host the Tonight Show.

Or punch Richard Gere in the face.

Phronk said...

Hosting the tonight show could definitely be your in to have access to Richard Gere's face. Two birds, one fist.

Hey Lady! said...

I agree with Johnson, worst question ever. I comment because I try to always comment, but I'm not answering this question.

Nice to see you over in "Phronkville" Blondie.

Unknown said...

What a nice post! Totally in the same mindset as you - goals can be good but it's also good to not put too much pressure on yourself. You never really know what's going to happen and when you're going to get thrown a curveball, so specific goals are not really realistic. I myself am a go-getter to a FAULT - I can sometimes do this too much and therefore be impatient when things I want to happen are not happening NOW. I have to make myself be more patient and wait just a little bit. I'm learning though that if I do this, answers will come to you and things will work out. Sometimes you need to just take life as it comes!

Candice said...

Ugh, my mid 20s are creeping up on me like a curse. I want to be totally self sufficient, location independent and not held down by a cubicle job. Too much to ask?

Anonymous said...

My friend and I were recently talking about how modern society has evolved to become so integrated with technology. Reading this post makes me think back to that discussion we had, and just how inseparable from electronics we have all become.

I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as the price of memory drops, the possibility of copying our memories onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could experience in my lifetime.

(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=]r4i ds[/url] DS ccPost)

Yvonne said...

Hahah. I've often contemplated on that. Good post. Helps me reflect, and to be honest, reanalyze. Thanks! :)

< bitter rant >

When I was 15, I thought I would be married, have a house and a job at 25. I didn't have a specific job.

When I was 17, I thought I would be a doctor by the time I was 25.

I've failed those goals.

But when I look back now, I'm 29, with three degrees, including a PhD, and I'm starting to lecture. I may not be an MD or a prof with a husband, house and kids, but I've picked up a lot of other things I never even dreamed of on the way.

So - yeah, I've only started thinking of myself less of a failure, but more successful than others.

Eat THAT society. I don't think I really need to settle and own property and get married to be a REAL person. To me, that's what you do if you can't do it yourself.

< /bitter rant >

I wouldn't really have thought about it that way without your post. :)

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Anonymous said...

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sandyb said...

Well... as a gal with a list of things to do before her next birthday, I definitely lean to the side of Listing the things you want to accomplish. Do I think that kids or marriage should be on there... hmmm, tricky. They weren't for me, mainly because these involve other people and those things are just up to me. When we marry or procreate isn't solely a "me" decision. That said, the kinds of things that are on my list are things I want to experience or try before a certain date - setting a deadline is more effective, I find, than simply saying, "someday I will..." If not now, when? If not you, who?

There have been many things I haven't crossed of previous lists - they make it the subsequent lists however, and get done when the opportunity presents itself. Skydiving and breaking out of old habits, to name a couple, are on this year's list, carried over from many, many lists before it.

So far, I've achieved everything I've set out to do over the years, from the big to the small. Having said that, is this where I thought I'd be at 29? Nope. But that doesn't mean it's bad either. I'm learning this. I also realized that if I'm not where I'd thought I would be, maybe it's time to figure out just what I' trying to accomplish and get more focused. If anything, my List has been helping me do this.

Phew! Are all comments this long?

Wonderful post, my friend!