(click for embiggening, as usual)
She is such a master poet that she can be playful with the English language.
So many poets looking for love! How romantic.
Always good to know what you want. But um, f*c*k*? Fucuku?
"Speaking" of knowing what you want. This was someone's main headline; the thing everyone sees even before clicking on them. And they chose to put "nice voice" as a requirement? That's fine and everything—everyone's got things they look for—but I've never heard that one before.
2. "I don't steal" isn't really something to brag about. Do you want a cookie for every person you don't murder?
4. I see this outrage about posting kids' pictures a lot. Do the same people complain about bringing kids out in public? Because I'm pretty sure pedophiles would have better luck stalking real people rather than trying to identify kids from their mom's anonymous internet dating profile.
But enough mocking people's grammar and spelling. Not everyone can be all book-learned. Instead, they gotta express themselves through pictures.
What the fuck is this shit?
You're floating over a pit of lava while your creepy-ass moon-clone stares at me? Is this supposed to subconsciously tap into "steamy" twin threesome fantasies? Sorry lady, but the heavenly bodies I do aren't made of rock. ZING.
Nothing particularly wrong with these. The tattoos are only a little bit terrible. The weird part is that I seem to attract people with creepy wing tattoos on their backs. Three or four others messaged me or viewed my profile before I noticed the pattern and started taking pictures.
Here is an (apparently) counterintuitive little tip for dating profiles: you shouldn't post pictures of yourself being fondled by other men. It's not a jealousy thing; it's a throw-up-in-my-mouth thing.
But hey, I always end these things on a positive note, so here is someone I would wine-dine-sixty-nine:
Not sure if it's the veiny arms or the blackface, but something's got the politically incorrect cockles of my heart all hot like lava.
P.S. The next installment of this series is going to be a doozy. It's a case study in WTF. Stay tuned.
See also: Volume 4, More Horrors of Internet Dating