Tuesday, October 19, 2010
If there is one thing I've never fully understood, it's extravagant jewelry. Nothing says "human existence is pointless" like working your ass off to save enough money to afford a bauble that serves no purpose other than to show how much you worked your ass off.
Sure, an expensive diamond looks pretty. So does a fake one that costs a fraction of the price. Yes yes I know, you can tell the difference, but only when you're looking at it up close, right before shoving it in your friends' faces and subtly hinting at how much your fiancé spent on it. That kid brewing in your belly? Oh, he can get by without a college fund.
Bling is about displaying excess wealth. Showing off the ability to dig up something shiny and not starve to death may have served a function in our evolutionary past, but the associated thrill that nature programmed us with makes little sense today. Today, when the wealth locked up in one of those functionless rocks could keep several less fortunate people from starving for a year.
I'm not above this. I spend money on plenty of things that serve no greater purpose. I look forward to spending a retarded amount of money on a trinket for some future love-of-my-life, if that is what she really desires, instead of giving it to charity. I am human too, but I'm working on it.
Similarly, I am not above being manipulated by flattery. So when I was contacted by someone from Gordons Gold Jewellers (not one of the Gordons, unfortunately) saying they keep up with my blog over there, and thought of me when setting up their little contest, I couldn't help but be softened up enough to be inspired to write a ranty post about diamonds that includes this poster:
Plus, supporting local business is kinda like charity, right?
Go forth, human. Win your own pointless rock.