I've spent a lot of time with Stephen King's books. My respect for him is deeper than fandom. It feels more like having gone on a long road trip with someone, and even though you piss each other off a lot, you're so glad you spent the time together.
I was delighted, then, when Simon and Schuster offered to send me some copies of King's upcoming book, Full Dark, No Stars (or at least I was delighted after I actually got the books, confirming that it wasn't just a scam to get my address and send me poisonous dust. Sometimes I'm paranoid about people mailing me poisonous dust). Full Dark, No Stars is a collection of novellas, kinda like Different Seasons. I have read the first paragraph of the first story, and can confirm that it is very good up to that point.
I got three copies, and I'm still reading Under the Dome so I won't have time to read one copy right away, let alone three. Therefore, I will give away the other two copies to you, Constant Blog Readers.
The book doesn't come out until November 9th, so you can enter this contest before it is even in stores (you won't actually get the book before it's in stores, but you can smugly say you saw a picture of your book [see above] before it was). Here is how to enter:
1. Promise to read my blog every day forever. And like it.
2. Leave a comment1 here with your idea for a Stephen King story if Stephen King was really stupid.
- A meteor crashes into a small town in Maine, and it turns all boys into girls and all girls into turtle creatures.
- An isolated writer discovers that his computer is evil. He struggles to finish his novel while his computer constantly tells him he sucks and tries to electrocute him. While he sleeps, the computer orders a package off of eBay. It contains poisonous dust.
Two winners will be chosen at random in one week (November 11th). But make your entry good, because hey, look at that picture above. See how one copy is kinda bent at the bottom? The random entry that is better / more hilarious / sexier will get the non-shitty copy.
Good luck! Feel free to forward this to anyone who may be interested.
P.S. Simon & Schuster also has their own contest to win a bunch of King books, so go enter that too. Click on this:
P.P.S. Shipping costs are brought to you by some company that makes fabric blinds. Seriously, I'm paid $30 for that link. I really don't care if you go and buy fabric blinds or not.
1 Or tweet it to me, or email if you're shy, or whatever. It'll be posted publicly if it's good, though. For all entries, please make sure there is a way I can contact you.