Back on Father's Day, I figured The Met market was the perfect place to find a gift. Fathers are, after all, old, and thus have probably already acquired all common material possessions they need at some point in their long lives. They need something unique.
Few are lucky enough to have acquired possessions from the collection of rare items at Über Cool Stuff. My dad barbecues a lot, so the instant I saw a gun that shoots sauce, I knew it was the gift to get.
Chris, who owns Über Cool Stuff, hadn't tried the Mustard-brand Condiment Gun yet, and kindly gave me a few bucks off in exchange for reporting back about how it works. Well, it works, and here's a report.
You load the sauce into a plastic, uh, magazine I guess you call it? Stick the magazine in the gun, and it's loaded. You have to be careful closing it up, or you will set it off prematurely, and shoot yourself in the nuts with BBQ sauce. By "you" I mean me.
But if you can get it all loaded safely, then it's ready to go. Then you say to your meat, you say, I'm going to give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no-good kiester off my dinner plate.
KEEP THE CHANGE YOU FILTHY ANIMAL.
You know what's probably not a good idea though? Filling this with mayonnaise, putting it on your lap during an R-rated movie, then shooting it into the air during the sexy scenes. Not a good idea at all. Why'd you even think of that?
Here is a creepy video about the condiment gun.