Monday, July 03, 2006

One Hundred Original Ideas for Horror Movies (#17 - 21)

See #1 to #5 for the first 5 and an explanation, then #6 to #10 for more. #11 is a secret hidden bonus. Then #12-16.

  • 17. Monkey Shampoo Terror! A group of Rhesus Monkeys escapes a laboratory where a cosmetics company was testing a new shampoo on them. As revenge, the monkeys cover the city in bubbly shampoo. Nobody can see through the bubbles; chaos ensues. Cars crash, people fall over, and the shampoo irritates their eyes and skin. The monkeys begin to kidnap people while they are incapacitated by the bubbles. They perform painful psychology experiments on the humans. When they get bored with that, they start throwing feces and slaughtering people. The sight of a splash of blood flying through a sea of shampoo foam is eerily beautiful.

monkey shampoo

  • 18. Earwigs: I fucking hate earwigs. With their crawly little legs and pinchy little pincers. A horror movie about earwigs doesn't even need to have giant earwigs, or mutant earwigs, or even killer earwigs. Just have completely normal earwigs run around pinching people and, of course, burrowing into peoples' ears to lay eggs in their brains. (Edit: And doing this. UGH!)

  • 19. That's a Spicy Meatball: A new restaurant opens up in town, and bills itself as having the spiciest food even created. A street kids who's in a gang is found stealing from its back alley and they make him a dishwasher. He starts noticing strange things; people who he saw in the restaurant the day before are reported dead on the news; his gang friends steal some sauce from the restaurant and also end up dead. He discovers that the sauce they use on their meatballs is so spicy that it burns holes in the esophagus, leading to a painful death. He steals a tub of even more potent, undiluted sauce, and carries out his brilliant plan: He puts the sauce in Super Soakers and uses it to defeat all the rival gangs.

  • 20. Zombie$: Oh no, zombies! Ugh! It's got me! Phew! It grabbed onto my pants and they slipped off...I've escaped. Hey...why is it sniffing my pants? Perverted zombie.'s...what the hell? It's taking out my wallet. All they want is money? They don't even want to eat our brains? Just money? Social commentary? What?


  • 21. Nobody Understands Me: A depressed teenager comes back from an emo music festival, and finds that nobody understands him. Literally. Whatever he says is incomprehensible to other people. "Mom, can I take the car to the mall tonight?" "Honey, I have no idea what you're talking about. I hear the words you're saying but they make no sense. Something about cars and malls? I don't get it." Frustrated, he tries writing things down, but people look at his writing as if it's an article in advanced theoretical physics. Finally, he tries the computer in his parents' basement. It works! People understand him! He becomes addicted to Myspace, World of Warcraft, and online chat rooms, surviving off of pizza ordered online, then becomes obese and covered in bed sores. He dies of a heart attack several months later, when someone pisses him off by stealing his +12 Axe of Faerie Strength.



Anonymous said...

Welcome to your new home! I am dying about your comments of fake Phronk. That is so funny.

Shora said...

I love these! Awesome yet again. I had a horrible encounter with an earwig a while back... blogged about it... ew.

Phronk said...

Eww. I'm still puking from reading that encounter, Shora. I had to add it in the post, too.

AG: This has been my new home for like 6 months. Where have you been? :)

Webmiztris said...

omg, that earwig is

love these horror movie ideas!

Morris said...

Ever see this movie:

Your ideas remind me of it!

Harry J. Sachz said...

You should move out here to Hollywood and show those movie execs what a real script is made of... Hell, they couldn't do any worse than a Rob Schnieder film

Phronk said...

Hahahah that movie looks awesome, Morris. We need an American remake!

Shora said...

I wuv being linked... here's a little present for ya:

sarah said...

you gave away your supreme dorkiness here: "when someone pisses him off by stealing his +12 Axe of Faerie Strength." That would really get to you, eh?

On the other hand, your xbox has a blog, so maybe you have nothing to hide.

Jason said...

I got bitten by an earwig and now avoid them at all costs. Worse than a bee sting.

Anonymous said...

Jason lies. I heard he gave Butchie an earwig farm for the holidays.

Phronk said...

Sarah: Stop trying to make me cry.

Jason: Stop lying.