Monday, June 11, 2007


V and I have been in Ottawa for the last few days. Here are some facts about Ottawa:
  • Sneaking into an academic conference isn't too hard. I probably should have registered early, when it didn't cost much, but given that I was lazy and waited until the price went up to $400.00, there's no way I'm paying that much just to wander booths where companies advertise their stuff. If I'm getting deluged with ads, I better be there for cheap or free. In any case, I only got caught once, and even then, didn't get thrown out. Oh and since I saved $400, that's pretty much free money that I can spend on booze and video games, right?
  • The Byward Market is pretty cool. V bought a plastic spider there that will mellow her chakra energies based on ancient Indian colour wheels, or something. There are lots of hippies in Ottawa.
  • The bathrooms in Ottawa are extremely nice and clean. Even in male public washrooms, I barely saw any shit, piss, blood or puke outside of the bowl. Paradoxically (or maybe not), people enjoy peeing in random places that are not bathrooms. We saw a few too many penises flopping out in the middle of the city.
  • I got a nosebleed for the first time in my life. I haven't blown my nose since then, because man, nosebleeds are scary. This probably has nothing to do with Ottawa, other than taking place there.
  • The city was still kinda depressed over not winning the Stanley Cup. It's OK, Ottawa, second place is still pretty good. Hah! Just kidding! Nobody even remembers second place. You fail at life.

I'll post a few pictures or something later. The art gallery has a giant spider in front of it, which I will post a picture of. As the great poet Robert Frost once said, "giant spiders fucking kick ass."


Harry J. Sachz said...

It's about time my home town picked up the cup. Yay Ducks.

Oh, I was thinking this would be a cool "P" logo for you:

Pirate Party Symbol

Butchie said...

I did sound at an ob/gyn conference once. I got tons of weird foam vaginas, uteri and astriglide samples.

sarah said...

Yeah, Ottawa is pretty cool, eh?? That is my hometown and I used to hang out in the Byward Market. Oh I miss it!

tornwordo said...

The only time I was in Ottawa, it was 30 below. I can assure you we saw no penises flopping out then, lol.

Salem said...

Ya. It's nice there with the market, the parks and stuff, but go back in January and it's a trip to the Arctic.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Wait, you snuck INTO an academic conference?

You really are a Canuck.

Nölff said...

I think the Duck's uniforms are stupid.

Salem said...

but at least they aren't MIGHTY.

Phronk said...

Sachz: That logo is awesome! Thanks..I'm totally gonna use it.

Butchie: Oh, so that's why you say that gittin pussy is your middle name.

Srah: Hippie!

Tornwordo & Salem: Yeah, I got a sense from talking to people that they were desperately hanging onto the warm days of summer.

Adorable: YOU'RE a Canuck.

Nolff & Salem: Please don't make fun of my favourite movie, The Mighty Ducks, and its sequel, D2: The Mighty Ducks.

Jason said...

Don't go "shoulding" all over yourself (I hate when people say this to me).

Apart from all that, is Ottawa still boring? I just want a Beaver Tail.