Tuesday, February 05, 2008

One Hundred Original Ideas for Horror Movies (#37-41)

37. Shell Game: The magical abilities of turtles are finally revealed to the world. The source of the genie myth, rubbing a turtle's shell grants the rubber 3 wishes. With no limit on the power of the wishes or the number of turtles that can be rubbed, governments put restrictions on turtle breeding, underground turtle farms develop, turtle genocide begins, and corrupt humans cause havoc. In the midst of the chaos, the turtles themselves get the short end of the stick. They can't make wishes themselves, but through a series of intentionally misinterpreted wishes, they manage to get their revenge on the humans. Man is enslaved, and the earth is run by T.U.R.T.L.E power.

Uh oh, already been done?

38. Shredder It's Grate to See You: A killer is often defined by the weapon they use. Freddy's got the glove, Leatherface has got the chainsaw, Phantasm's Tall Man's got that friggin floaty orb, etc. A weapon that has not got its time in the spotlight is the household cheese grater. UNTIL NOW. After being disfigured in a horrible fondue accident, a regular guy takes up the hobby of people-grating, and hides the smell of his rotting victims by maintaining a cheese market. You'll never eat blue cheese again.

39. Bowel Movements: That pushing and wriggling in your belly doesn't mean you're pregnant. It's your guts, tired of their boring parasitic relationship with you. They want out, and they get out in the most disgusting scene ever put to film. It makes the goatse man mild in comparison. The pulsating worm-like creatures make it on their own by, ironically, eating people.

40. Weredog: A young athlete devotes his life to training, but can't seem to win anything. Broke and with a failing marriage, all he wants is to come out on top, just once. After getting slobbered on by a strange looking stray dog, he finds himself with unusual hair growth and a hankering for Snausages. He begins to get shorter, a fleshy tube grows out above his ass, and he finds himself screaming uncontrollably whenever an ambulance drives by. One morning, his wife wakes up and finds herself cuddling a shih tzu. She enters him in obedience and agility competitions, working up through the ranks until the heart warming finale when her husband finally wins the national championship.

41. Binder Rings Snapping Shut on Your Schlong: You know how 3-ring binders have those clips that are very sharp and snap shut very fast? That would really hurt if they snapped on your dick. Maybe a psycho could use one as a weapon, chasing people with a binder and being all like "I'm gonna snap this on your penis".

Oh shit...am I running out of ideas?

See also: 100 Original Ideas for Horror Movies, #30 - 34.


SharkBoy said...

Ah... a classic return... love it!

S said...

Would you believe I've thought of #41 before?

Don't wanna try it, though. Ouch.

madamerouge said...

vagina dentata, anyone?

Butchie said...

Thre ring binders suck.