Friday, May 30, 2008

Things That Have Been Weighing Heavily on My Mind

  • "Mother tongue" is a really gross-sounding way of identifying one's native language. It brings to mind images of either a very large tongue, or a sentient tongue that pops out little baby tongues.

  • There is a commercial on the radio for some kind of truck, advertising that you can "drive on roads that have never been driven before." What? Are there roads out there were created without vehicles, then left there, never to be driven on? No; the word "road" implies a stretch of land that has been specially prepared for vehicles and driven on at least once.

  • There is a television ad for spray-on salad dressings, demonstrating the different types of people who use them. One of them - I think the "superstitious spritzer" - pumps a few sprays over her shoulder before eating. I know this is a cliche, but there really are children starving in Africa. In addition to eating a large no-calorie salad covered in no-calorie salad spray, this person is going out of their way to waste the stuff by spraying it into the air. It's like the opposite of eating. Barfing without the mess.

  • I had something brilliant and awesome to write that was the whole point of starting this post, but it's left my brain.


Dead Robot said...

When I saw that particular salad lady I thought "Her back must smell delicious, if you could get past the oil stain."

Mother Tounge makes me shudder. I envision sticking your own tounge out as you slide along the birthing canal.

SeangSTM said...

"I envision sticking your own tounge out as you slide along the birthing canal."

Dude. I'm EATING. ;)


Phronk said...

Hahaha...DR, you made it even grosser. Well done sir.

don said...

Salad gurl was pre-sex. Just sprizing with the spray-on lube.

Yvette Lombardi said...

What you have never had your mother "spit" curl you hair!