Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Tweeting With the Stars, Volume 7: Chris Harrison

Chris Bharrison Harrison has been the host of The Bachelor and its spinoffs for the past decade. Last night, just after the latest Bachelorette1, I discovered a horrible secret.

Call the presses! Specifically, Fox News, because they'll confuse comedy with real news and make me famous for blowing the lid off this scandal.

Oh and what a scandal it would be! Why not? These days, someone nobody's heard of can become a celebrity for tweeting a wiener (as long as his name induces lulz), so apparently people will pay attention to anything on a slow news day.

Know what doesn't make you a celebrity? Merely getting your Twitter name mentioned by an influential person, such as a reality show host with 65 000 followers, or the national news, will get you exactly this many new followers:


To get followers (in Twitter or in life), you have to engage with people, not just be exposed.

(Unless it is your penis that is exposed).

Thank you for listening to my social media expertise. That will be $5000 please.

1 omggg ladies, is Bentley not just every girl's worst nightmare? Am I right or am I right?

See also:

Oh and hey, if you like this blog, go like it on Facebook so you don't miss any updates. Not that you would, since you didn't miss this one, but maybe you will get dumber by next time I post. You ain't getting any younger you know.


Angela Schneider said...

I would have described Bentley as 'Machiavellian' but he was just so goddamn boring in his approach. I feel sorry for him more than anything.

Phronk said...

Haha yeah, maybe he could be Machiavellian if he actually accomplished anything with his lies.

Jennifer said...

Could you please tweet a picture of your weiner? I heard once it was 5 feet long.

Starling Social said...

Would you really want any of his followers to follow you, though?

Hey Lady! said...

When I first looked at this guys name I was thinking it was the dude from "To Catch a Predator", but that's Chis Hansen. This is less cool than I initially thought.

With each installation of "Tweeting with the Stars" I fear you'll become more and more famous and drift further away from your true fans...